Once or twice this side of life, we come across a beautiful scene, an unforgettable person, an unexplainable bliss filled moment, and/or the sinking into the life of another being’s sorrow in total empathy. Each are defining moments that we revisit when time slides into memories.
I searched for so many self-help methods, I remember being admonished for doing so. I don’t know if I was more surprised that it should have been a bad thing, or if I felt shyly embarrassed; in retrospect, maybe both. Ironically, the process served me well.
At a group therapy session, we were asked to close our eyes and visualize a place we would like to be in for a half an hour, preferably one that delighted us in some way. I still go there to fall asleep in prayer.
The pure white sand beach glistened even below the clear emerald and aquamarine water.
The see-through colors at the Araruama beach in Brazil was empty except for tall bales of wind swept salt foams.
I ran through them and heard their soft cracking like chimes and felt enveloped as if inside a translucent bubble.
I ran into the water and floated so easily as the salt held me up me like a feather.
With eyes open below the water, I found a few treasured shells, and I still have them.
Somewhere behind me stood my parents and Godparents.
I have been too blessed by so many unforgettable persons in my life, I cannot do justice to just one without bringing all the others that come to mind to the forefront. I thought about putting all of their photos on a poster board to have them at a glance from time to time, perhaps as a reminder of their encouragement, friendship, and time together with me, yet I have not. Their qualities nurtured my soul and I keep them in my heart. To have known the best of all in God’s graceful journey, I can simply say, I am forever grateful.
Their hearts held me like family through two surgeries, and in their circle of prayers. Each of these ladies gave me the gift of their assurance. The stories are held in a string of pearls, and there are others whose lives taught me valuable lessons. All of them are tucked in the garden of my heart. God bless them.
” Let the morning bring me word of Your Unfailing love
for I put my trust in You.” _Psalm 143:8
The most bliss-filled moments in my life happened at the births of my four sons with their father nearby. February 21st, April 7th, June 12th, and June 26th mark my calendar as the days that matter more than they ever did before 1981. Fortunately, my father held our first born and baptized him at the Russian Orthodox Church in Erie, Pennsylvania.
To think we thought we were mature adults, makes me quiver. We grew up as we watched our sons do so, and I thank God for their tender hearts, for their happiest moments, and for their fortitude through personal difficulties. Our lessons tested our characters and love has sustained us.
I no longer consider the “ifs” in life. I thank God.
The youngest was born on June 12th. When #3 realized his second oldest brother’s birthday was after his oldest brother, he naturally presumed his was next. He therefore corrected me when I said we were celebrating the youngest brother’s birthday. He emphatically told me “NO MOMMY!”… It was his turn.
I no longer consider the “ifs” in life. I thank God. We are blessed after all.
As we moved over the years, some things were sold that should not have been, many given away, and some are still packed in the shed. One of those is the book that I recommend every person to read, particularly our politicians, The Diary of A Young Girl.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.”
Imagine writing the words she did at possibly thirteen, fourteen, or fifteen years of age. Her birthday was June 12 so she lived a few months longer in her fifteenth.
From 1942 until 1944 Anne Frank lived with her family and friends in hiding at the secret annex her father and friends created to escape their immediate demise for being Jews. There were eight of them. They had fled Germany and tried at least twice to leave for England or the United States but were unsuccessful. Anne was given a journal for her thirteenth birthday, just before entering the seclusion. Her last entry was on August 1st of 1944. They were arrested four days later; I wonder how quiet they must have had to be and why. They were found one year short of the end of the World War II. Heaven bless my heroine, Anne Frank.
She begins her journal with words I could have written as I thought them as I wrote from early on in life. I wiped my eyes and blew my nose throughout the book, held it close to my heart, and displayed it in the curio cabinet for years.
” I hope I will be able to confide everything to you, as I have never been able to confide in anyone, and I hope you will be a great source of comfort and support.” _Anne Frank
Maybe the facts of her entries triggered memories of my parents’ own experiences in living in fear of the communists. Maybe the fact that they too spent three years in Buchenwald but survived, scraped the bruise I inherited for despising anti semitism, and the battle that ensues when people are driven out of their country due to political upheavals.
Humans can be awful beings, and they certainly were when Anne wrote to overcome the desire to be outside, and run free. Somehow, she mustered to give us guidance even today:
“Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy.” _Anne Frank
I sank as I read her journal mostly because I wanted to take her with me to Araruama… I wanted her to be the sister I never had… I wished I could just sit and talk. I admire her young yet mature soul. She did not lose her hope to see passed the storm. However, they were found on August 4th. She did not write for three days if the last entry was indeed August 1st. I cringe to think how painful it must have been. I have no doubt she is with God.
” Despite everything, I believe that people are really good at heart.” _Anne Frank
This quote was on a gate along the others I posted. As fate would have it, that one remained unfinished. I dream of going back to finish it with forget-me-nots.
” All journeys have secret destinations of which the traveler is unaware. Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.” _Ralph Waldo Emerson
How can I end this continuing assignment that began with the letter A, and now we are at letter S ?… The word chosen in the blog entitled Come, Become Alphabetically Savvy for this letter is Sincere…and so I remain…Sincerely Yours…